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Monday, 9 July 2007
Box your Son

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My brothers and sisters this is reverend Jebediah Slight from I'm here today to talk to you about Christopher Columbus and the Tales of Pussy Whip from the great book of WHAM!

In this story we learn that being pussy whipped can make your son's grow up to be gay. Which is a concern all parents should have! For you want to rob your son of such pleasures of having a cock stuck in him. For he will enjoy it too much and no parents wants their son to be sexual in that way!

So we ask ourselves, how can we make sure our sons don't grow up to be gay?! Well my brothers and sisters I have the answer for you. Challenge your son to a boxing match every time you see him. If your son loses and cries like a little sissy girl, he will probably grow up to be gay! And that would be bad. So do not hesitate to beat your son for that is the only way they will learn not to stick that meat stick into some other guy.

If your son still cries like a little sissy girl every time you box him. Pile drive him into the wall. Then make him drink a gallon of milk. When he throws up, take to him up to the mountain and offer him as a burnt offering to Kim Jong. But not Osama Bin Laden, for he will turn you in to the police!


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Posted By jesus at 7:43 PM

Monday, 9 July 2007
Christopher Columbus and The Foreskin of Doom

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My brothers and sisters this is reverend Jebediah Slight from I'm here today to talk to you about Christopher Columbus and The Foreskin of Doom from the great book of wham!

Now my brothers and sisters God made a promise to good old Christopher. He said, "Christopher, where ever you go I shall give you that land." And it was so.

So after Christopher discovered our great nation of America, he settled down in a little city called Las Vegas.

At this time God came to Christopher and was angry because Christopher has forgotten about God.

So God demanded tribute! To which Christopher paid. But God wasn't done yet. No my brothers and sisters. To show Christopher who was still Don of the mafia God sent Christopher to San Francisco to see the Pharaoh and his twenty fagbags.

Christopher seeing an opportunity wanted to do business with the Pharaoh. For the Pharaoh was the single largest importer of fine wine, fine fabric's, porn, sex toys, and fruit.

But Pharaoh didn't want to do business with Christopher instead he raped Christopher. The Pharaoh violated Christopher's sweet virgin butthole. And oh, this violation of Christopher's butthole was so very wrong that Christopher had to scrub his poor body clean. But the dirtiness of the Pharaoh's cock didn't come clean.

So to teach the Pharaoh a lesson, Christopher took the wetness of his goddess of a mistress. He put her sweet pink taco wetness in a bottle and chilled it. Then went to the Pharaoh. They both drank of this wetness. And it was good for Christopher's mistress was a young and oh so sweet woman kind of like Krissy Love or Ginger Lee.

Now drinking of this sweet lady's wetness upset the Pharaoh because it turned him straight.

So let me tell you brothers and sisters what we can learn from this story. If a Pharaoh and his twenty fagbags every rape and violate your sweet butthole. Take the wetness from a fine young lady, chill it and trick the Pharaoh into drinking it for this will turn the Pharaoh straight! So he will no longer be able to rape your sweet semi violated butthole.


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Posted By jesus at 7:42 PM

Wednesday, 27 June 2007
The Dirtiness upon the Earth will be washed away!

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My brothers and sisters this is reverend Jebediah Slight from I'm here today to talk to you about Noah and The Raiders of the Ark from the great book of wham!

Now there was a dirtiness upon the earth and this displeased God.

This wasn't your ordinary dirtiness, like having sex with a fat person or being a fat ass. No!

This dirtiness was different. And it came from people not showering. It was the hippie stink!

And this stink was great upon the land. So great, that God set out to do some thing about the hippie stink.

God came to Noah and asked Noah to do some thing on God could do. That was build a continent! Noah said no.

But he did come up with a plan. My Brothers and Sisters. Oh yes!

Noah purposed to invite all the hippies to the Valley of the red. What we currently know as The Red Sea!

And Noah would give all the hippies free booze and pot. For that is what hippies like.

Now you might say to yourself, I like free booze and pot. Am I a hippie?

No! My brothers and sisters. You are not a hippie. To become a hippie you have to not shower for days on end. You have to mooch off your fellow man. You have to protest the government by writing poetry. And most of all you have to contribute nothing to society.

So my brothers and sisters. Noah invited all the hippies to the valley of the red. Once all the hippie stink was there, Noah blew up the land between the valley and the ocean to let water in so the dirty fucking hippies could be cleansed. But there lies a problem. For Noah knew that once and hippie always a hippie. So he doubled the dynamite which caused the valley to flood killing all the hippies!

And the heavens rejoiced!

God looked upon what Noah did and was pleased.

And what do we learn from this?! We learn that God doesn't like hippies and that all hippies should drowned a horrible death. So if you see a hippie, God will be pleased if you throw him into a river! For he is a hippie and will be too lazy to do it himself! Amen.

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Posted By Jesus at 7:40 PM

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