The second book of Randy and Gary: commonly called Insertion
1The Lord said to Adolf, "This month shall be for you the beginning of months; it shall be the first month of the year for you. Happy New Year Asshole. Now go forth and tell all Jew friend of this event, on the 10th day 2prepare for the Air Show. Bring forth one case of beer for each family from their freshest stock. But do not drink of this beer till the fourteenth day. For that is the day the Blue Angels come to town for the Air Show. But only those who bring a case of beer to the Air Show 3shall be admitted."
4So Adolf 5went forth but before he could go forth too far The Lord came to Adolf again.
"Hey Douche Bag, 6and tell all your Jew friends that they shall drink of the beer that day but only that day and not of the day. And they shall eat fine BBQ and meat sauce. But they shall only eat of that day and drink of that beer that day 7and not any other day for if they do then that that which they eat will be bad and they will receive a tummy ache and the shits."
"For this day shall be memorial day, and is shall be observed the last Monday of the month of May for all shall eat of beer on that day. But for only seven days of this memorial celebration every one shall drink of Canadian beer. On the first day, all shall put away American piss beer. For if any one drinks of American piss beer of those seven days. All will know that they suck and have no taste for real beer. Therefore they will be shamed from the next Air Show.8 9 10"
"11And you shall observe this day, throughout your generations, as an ordinance for ever. In the first month on the 10th day all shall prepare for the mega awesome Air Show by buying one case of Canadian beer. But for only seven days of this memorial celebration every one shall
drink of Canadian beer. On the first 12day, all shall put away American
piss beer. For if any one drinks of American piss beer of those seven
days. All will know that they suck and have no taste for real beer.
Therefore they will be shamed from the next Air Show."
13And so Adolf stood before his Lord and said, "Lord, why did you repeat yourself?"
14And the Lord said,"I did? Sorry, I must Alzheimer's. What was I talking about?"
15Adolf replied, "I don't fucking know. You've been rambling on about Canadian Beer and the Air Show."
i6And the Lord put on pants and said, "Fuck yeah! The Blue Angels are coming to down. Its going to be fucking sweet."
18So it was so. Adolf went forth and told all about the Air Show.
On the day of the Air Show all 17gathered who brought a case of Canadian beer. But when it came time for the Blue Angels, they had technical difficulties and were grounded. This angered God with such voracity that he farted. 19The stench passed over the land. And Metallica played Creeping Death.
20And the Lord's passing of gas killed all the first born sons. Which was odd. And it even killed Pablo Escobar's erection. So the people demanded that Pablo Escobar send away all Jewish people. So all the Jews were loaded into 21trains and were taken from the city. For they were free now.
22They drank Canadian beer which they have brought for it was not American beer. At the end all the hosts of the Lord went out and bought more. 23It was a night of watching by the Lord, to bring them out of this land. And it will be kept through generations.
24Then the Lord came to Adolf once more, "And from now on no foreigner shall drink of any ones beer unless that foreigner has been circumcised and produces money to buy more 25beer."