The second book of Randy and Gary: commonly called Insertion
1Adolf and his Jewbag friends set out from Utah to Breckenridge, Colorado because Adolf heard that a new deposit of gold had been discovered. So they set off through the wilderness. But the Jews started to complain for they did not like manual labor. 2They would say things like, "The Shmeckle in the Chupah isn't very Geschmak." "Shleping these Tsibiles through the wilderness is not very Shep nachas." They also started to murmur that Adolf had no Saichel and that he might be a Shmendrik.
3The Jewish people started to tease Adolf. They started to push him around and bully him by throwing him to the ground. "Where is all the food asshole? We follow you out here to get away from Pablo Escobar. Yet Pablo always gave us food even after beating us. What's your excuse? Dillhole?"
4So Adolf called to the Lord. "Hey Fuckface, where the hells the damn food? Asshole!" Then some Jewish guy pushed Adolf down a hill. Upon lifting himself off the ground Adolf looked out and saw a field full or grain and corn.
5Adolf arose and went back to his Jewbags and said, "I have found food! Each day I will gather enough for all to eat." 6So each day Adolf went to the field and gathered grain and corn for all to eat. But grain and corn are dry and without water. So the Jews complained again.
7The bullying of Adolf became worse. The Jewish people would spit on him and pee on his bed. They would tease him and fart in his mouth. They relentlessly bugged him to find water.
8But Adolf was unable to find water. So he called upon the Lord. "Oh great Lord who told me to lead these fucking Jewbags away from Pablo Escobar. 9Yet has cursed me with their continual garbage. Lead me to water." but the Lord was AFK and didn't see that Adolf IM'ed him.
10So Adolf decided to put on a magic show for every one to ditract them from the thoughts of water. The main event would be the buried alive trick. 11So to prepare for the trick Adolf dug a hole, three foot wide by fifty feet deep. He lined the inside with rock as to not to collapse the hole. He then attached a pulley system with bucket. 12When he lowered the bucket down to the bottom he heard it hit water.
13"What the hell! My trick is ruined! Now what am I going to do to do distract these fucking Jews from the shortage of water?! Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"
14Adolf pulled the bucket up and threw the bucket full of water into the air. "Eat a dick Lord! You fucker!" The bucket smacked Adolf square on the head. 15It knocked him out but not before causing him to pee all over this old Jewish lady.
16When Adolf regained consciousness he was tied up to a tree. Jews were standing all around him calling for blood. Adolf tried to wet his pants but since he already pissed all over the old lady he had none to pee. So he shat himself.
17Every Jew took turns punching Adolf in the legs. This went on for days. Finally one night a little Jewish boy came up to Adolf.
18Adolf bent down and strangled him. "Bring me some water!"
19"I don't know where any water is at sir." The boy yelped.
20Adolf kicked the kid in the face. "Follow me assface." Adolf went over to his failed buried alive trick. 21He pulled the bucket up and got some water. "What is your name boy?" Adolf asked.
22The boy replied, "Tikki Tikki Tembo." Then fell into the well. Adolf screamed like a fag and ran off to tell Tikki Tikki Tembo's mom what happened.
23When Adolf reached the boy's mom it was all that he could do to get out "Tikki Tikki Tembo-No Sa Rembo-Chari Bari Ruchi-Pip Peri Pembo." 24Adolf was so out of breath that is took him two days to finally tell the lady that Tikki Tikki Tembo fell down the well.
25No one cared about the stupid boy they were just glad that Adolf finally found water.